When I was a barely-sentient larvae, there was one show I couldn't get enough of, despite my father's objections ("You don't need to watch that, it's disgusting."): Ren and Stimpy. That show ruled so much. It had everything a good cartoon needs: jokes that are actually funny, disgusting visuals, extreme weirdness, and cleverly subtle sexual humor (if you don't believe me, re-watch the episode where Stimpy 'milks the gorilla'). I can happily say that Ren and Stimpy severely warped my psyche. Not that it wasn't warped already, but it certainly helped.
And then, one cold, crisp morning, it was gone. No more Ren and Stimpy. Why, you might ask? Because Nickelodeon is run by fascists. Then they all but got rid of Rocko's Modern Life, too. What the hell is wrong with those people? Now we've got, what, The Angry Beavers? Catdog? Various boring game shows? Seriously, has anyone ever actually watched and enjoyed Guts? I really doubt it. That show was about as interesting as watching a high school P.E. class (in other words: not).
So, what's on TV now? We've got various boring sitcoms (Friends), infomercials ("FOR JUST, LIKE, 19.99, YOU CAN HAVE A FREE JAM WHISTLER"), bad cartoons (Doug), poorly-translated and/or uninteresting anime (OH BOY, GUNDAM), and we've got the news. Other than the news, it's all boring and the same. Except for Comedy Central, because Comedy Central is allowed to defy the laws of bad television for some weird reason. If there was some deal where I could pay a reduced price and just get Comedy Central, I'd do it, but seeing as I have to pay money AND have horrible things I don't want to see (The Bachelor) pumped directly into my television, I think I'll pass, thanks. The news not necessarily boring, but what it lacks in boredom it makes up for in stupidity. I'm not exactly interested in having people who are doing their very best to scare me (for whatever reason) relaying my news to me.
It's like if you were a small child and your older brother told you that mom and dad were having an argument, and tried to make it sound like it was about you when it was actually about the strange naked lady who mom found in daddy's closet. It was done to FREAK YOU OUT. It's just like that. They focus on and exaggerate the bad things. When it's a murder, they try to make you feel like you're next on the list to be clubbed. When it's an illness, they make it look like everyone in the country is at risk to have their body melt at any given second. And the war on terrorism? They're trying to make it look like there's a chance someone's going to run into McDonalds, yell, "Today we die for (miscellaneous middle-Eastern deity)!" and then blow themselves and everyone in the place up at any given time.
The terror alert meter is one of the single dumbest things I've ever seen anyone use any time, ever. There's never an 'elevated' chance of terrorist attack. It's ALWAYS THE SAME. ALWAYS. A terrorist can attack at absolutely any time. Do you think a group of Pakistanis are sitting in a hotel room, crowded around the television, waiting for the terror alert meter to hit red so they can go to work? No, they're not, they're going to attack whenever they can, shut up about your stupid terror alert meter, I hate you.
Cross-posted to my journal.